Concert one done, few days rest then it’s Extreme and Def Leppard. Metallica were great, paying the price for it now however.
As an autistic person with ADHD, the annual pilgrimage to the church of rock ‘n’ roll is a necessary but difficult journey to make.
For days and weeks before I put so much emotional and mental energy into attending these events. I spent 2 hours building a very detailed plan, exact train times, routes, timings etc. I’ll research and research everything over and over so there’s no surprises.
Then of course life gets in the way, it’s currently the night of Metallica in Glasgow, Scotland.
Today I had to get out of my comfort zone and travel by train to Glasgow, the logistics of then getting food and travel to our hotel and deal with the dreaded reception desk. Then our room wasn’t ready, despite contacting them to seek accommodations for early check-in. So I had to go to the bar and wait.
Then we had to get to the venue, we didn’t expect the queue for trains to be so long, although we were well prepared due to my planning document I’d spent hours creating.
The gig was great, then we had to get home. We’d planned the train home, but decided if we could get somewhere slightly away from the venue we could get an Uber. Bad idea, we headed to a local supermarket but despite having it’s lights on it was closed. My partner Shona was sore with the walking, she has her own disabilities that make this difficult but that’s her story.
In the end we doubled back and a lovely couple up from England invited us to jump in their taxi back to the city centre. So now you’re in a taxi with a couple you’ve never met. Autistic nightmare but the masking kicks in and I become conversational, giving it the patter like a pro.
They drop us off in the city centre. Right now we just need to get back to our hotel. Should be easy enough, but it’s all uphill so we decide to wait for a bus. In the twenty minutes that passed about 20 folk turned up at the bus station. Having never used a bus in Glasgow, I was already super anxious about how to use my NEC bus pass. By the time we’re on, the driver kept letting more and more people on.
It turned into a massive crush, I spotted someone else who had also got in with their NEC card jump off, my autistic radar was going off. Two stops later and I’m trying to hit the bell, I’d lost sight of Shona who was elsewhere on the bus. The driver went straight past our stop, I pressed it again and he stopped at the next one. I managed to squeeze through and then got him to stop while Shona worked her way off.
Major meltdown, need to find out way to our hotel but the rage, frustration and emotional energy are all off the charts. I just want to punch walls and scream. Meantime I need to try and keep a level of control to keep Shona safe and get her back to the room.
Now at 2.22am I’m calmer but tired.
Most non autistic folk might read all that and think that’s just life, fairly normal. For the neuro divergent amongst us, I’m sure it will sound exhausting.
Two days rest and then I do it all again… Why? Because rock music literally saved my life, multiple times, this is my religion and that one moment of joy when any big finale kicks in and the place erupts makes it all worth it, finally forgetting what the twenty folk around you are doing that you’ve been tracking for the last hour and being alive, for a moment.
Now to rest and rebuild.